Quebec 194 Recruit Journal Week 03

International Maritime Signal Flag Quebec

 

Quebec 194 Recruit Journal

Formed: June 6, 2017

Graduates: July 28, 2017

 

11JUN17 DAY06

INDOC WEEKEND SUMMARY

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY COMPANY COMMANDERS, AMTC GROTE, IS1 TAYLOR, AND MK2 KARNYA. NOW I HAVE NEVER BEEN SUPERSTITIOUS UNTIL I MET THESE MEN… BUT NOW I’M A BELIEVER, BECAUSE THEY ARE MYSTICAL. EACH COMPANY COMMANDER POSSESSES A UNIQUE SET OF POWERS. MY SHIPMATES AND I ARE PUZZLED ABOUT WHERE THESE ABILITIES COME FROM, BUT I HAVE A FEW THEORIES. I BELIEVE CHIEF GROTE TO BE SOME SORT OF WIZARD. JUST YESTERDAY, ONE OF MY SHIPMATES WAS WALKING LEISURELY THROUGH THE GALLEY AND CHIEF GROTE STRAIGHT UP TURNED THAT RECRUIT INTO A FORD TAURUS. IT WAS INCREDIBLE. I HEARD THE WHOLE THING (I DIDN’T SEE IT THOUGH; MY EYES WERE IN THE BOAT.) AFTER THE TRANSFORMATION, CHIEF GROTE COMMANDED THE SPECIAL EDITION FORD RECRUIT TO CHANGE GEARS AS HE DROVE ‘ROUND THE MESSDECK, HE “VROOMED” IN A DIFFERENT KEY WITH EVERY SHIFT. BEFORE I CAME TO BOOTCAMP, I HAD THE UNDERSTANDING THAT CIVILIANS WOULD BE TRANSFORMED INTO SOLDIERS, BUT WE ARE GETTING TURNED INTO SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.

PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF MYSTICAL. HE IS FROM ANOTHER PLANET- SOME FORM OF EXTRATERRESTRIAL BEING THAT REJECTS EMPATHY AND FEEDS ON HUMAN SWEAT AND TEARS. I KNOW IT SOUNDS WEIRD, BUT I THINK HE JUST LIKES THE SALT OR SOMETHING? “PUSH!” THAT’S WHAT HE SAYS AT MEALTIMES. ALIENS… I DON’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY. PETTY OFFICER KARNYA IS THE MOST DIFFICULT TO FIGURE OUT FOR A COUPLE OF REASONS: 1.THE EXTENT OF MY KNOWLEDGE ON MYSTICAL CREATURES ISN’T GREAT 2. I’M TERRIFIED TO LOOK AT HIM. HE MIGHT BE A MALE MEDUSA CHARACTER? OR LIKE A WEREWOLF/ VAMPIRE HYBRID?

IN ADDITION TO HAVING MAGICAL POWERS, THE CC’S ALSO HAVE A VARIETY OF MORTAL TALENTS RANGING FROM BEING QUALIFIED DOCTORS/ PSCHYIATRISTS TO OUTSTANDING MUSIC VIDEO CHOREOGRAPHERS… TRAGICALLY, WE WERE ALL DIAGNOSED WITH “HAVING NO BRAIN.” I’M NOT SURE WHAT THAT MEANS, BUT IT SOUNDS SERIOUS. BUT BACK TO THE BIT ABOUT HOW THEY’RE MASTER ENTERTAINMENT CHOREOGRAPHERS. TODAY MY SHIPMATES AND I DANCED AROUND OUR SQUADBAYS FOR WHAT I DETERMINED TO BE PRACTICE FOR A “RACK CITY” VIDEO. EVERY SHIPMATE THAT DID HAD SOMETHING INCORRECTLY PLACED IN THEIR RACKWAS MADE TO SAY A VERSE ABOUT THEIR MISTAKE REPEATEDLY WHILE CIRCLING THE SQUADBAY. “BOO! I’M A GHOST!” WAS ONE SHIPMATE’S LINE. THAT’S RIGHT; PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR CONJURED A FREAKIN’ GHOST AFTER SAID SHIPMATE DIDN’T FOLD HIS TOWEL PROPERLY. THE PARADE OF GHOSTS, PEOPLE WITH Q-TIPS STICKING OUT OF THEIR NOSES, AND ALL SORTS OF FLAGS MADE FROM PERSONAL ITEMS WAS VERY… MEMORABLE.

IN SUMMARY, INDOC WEEK WAS LIKE HELL’S KINDERGARTEN. SATAN’S MOST POWERFUL DEMON’S WORKING ‘ROUND THE CLOCK TO GET MY SHIPMATES AND I SQUARED AWAY. IT’S TOUGH, ESPECIALLY FOR THOSE OF US WHO HAVE NO BRAIN… OMG, WAIT! NOT SUMMARY TIME YET! I FORGOT TO MENTION THE GALLEY FOOD! IT’S LIKE LUBY’S WITH NICER EMPLOYEES! THERE’S A 30 SECOND BREAK THAT WE GET TO SAY “PLEASE” AND “THANK YOU” AND SMILE! IT’S AMAZING. THEN WE GET YELLED AT FOR NO BRAIN DISORDER, THEN WE GET TO ENJOY OUR FOOD FOR 07 MINUTES. THOUSANDS OF PEOPLE WAIT ALMOST THEIR WHOLE LIVES TO EAT FOOD LIKE THIS WITH A SENIOR DISCOUNT AND HERE WE ARE IN RECRUIT TRAINING EATING IT FO’ FREE. YAHTZEE! THAT’S YOUR FIRST COMPANY COMMANDERISM.

YAHTZEE- A PHRASE USED BY CHIEF GROTE WHEN A RECRUIT ANSWERS A QUESTION INCORRECTLY AND GETS TO WATCH THEM PUSH UNTIL THEY CRY.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT EVER,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

12JUN17 DAY07

TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY THE COMPANY WAS IN FORMATION AND AT ATTENTION FOR THE NATIONAL ANTHEM AND RAISING OF THE FLAG. I CAN’T SPEAK FOR ALL OF MY SHIPMATES, BUT WHEN I HEAR THE ANTHEM, I ALMOST ALWAYS TEAR UP WITH PRIDE. THANK GOD PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR WASN’T THERE TO EAT MY TEARS FOR BREAKFAST.

I AM LOST IN THE FREAKIN’ SAUCE. YOUR KIDS ARE TOO, FACEBOOK MOMS. BUT I AM ESPECIALLY LOST IN THE SAUCE. IF THE UNITED STATES HAD A SAUCE GUARD, THEIR FIRST MISSION WOULD BE SAVING A HANDFUL OF MY SHIPMATES AND ME FROM COAST GUARD BOOT CAMP. I’LL BE FRANK; MORALE IS LOW ABOUT THE COMPANY. WE’RE TRYING OUR HARDEST TO ADJUST TO THE 03 MINUTE SHOWERS AND OTHER CHALLENGES. IF I DIDN’T SEE A BUNNY HOP PAST EARLIER WHEN MY EYES WERE IN THE BOAT (THAT MEANS STRAIGHT AHEAD, FACEBOOK MOMS), I MAY HAVE HAD MY FIRST OFFICIAL BOOTCAMP BREAKDOWN. WANTING DESPERATELY TO SUCCEED AND CONSISTENTLY FALLING SHORT OF OBJECTIVES WEIGHS HEAVILY ON OUT TEAM.

BUT… I LIKE TO KEEP THINGS POSITIVE, SO HERE’S A TIDBIT ABOUT WHAT PETTY OFFICER KARNYA DID FOR OUR COMPANY TO BOLSTER OUR SPIRITS: SPAAAAA DAAAAY!!! HE GUIDED OUR COMPANY INTO A SET OF HALLWAYS THAT JOINS OUR SQUADBAYS AND SURROUNDS A SQUARE CORRICOR. 111 BODIES IN ABOUT 300 SQ.FT. OF “REAL ESTATE”*. WE WERE MADE TO SWAP OUT OUR BOONDOCKERS AND GOFASTERS (BOOTS AND TENNIS SHOES, FACEBOOK MOMS) OVER A DOZEN TIMES. WITHIN 05 MINUTES THE QUARTER DECK WAS THE MOST EFFECTIVE STEAM ROOM EVER. EV-ER. JUST ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE COMPANY COMMANDER MIRACLES, I GUESS.

SIDE NOTE: IT JUST DAWNED ON ME THAT ALL COMPANY COMMANDERS EAT SWEAT AND TEARS, NOT JUST PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR! PETTY OFFICER KARNYA… THAT SLY DEVIL, HE HAD A FEAST WITHOUT CHIEF GROTE OR PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR! SERIOUSLY, I HAVE NEVER SEEN THEM EAT FOOD.

FACEBOOK MOMS, WE MISS YOU, WE LOVE YOU, AND WE WANT TO MAKE YOU PROUD. THAT’S ALL FOR TONIGHT.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT EVER,

SKIDMORE M.A.

*REAL ESTATE- COMPANY COMMANDERISM THAT MEANS FIND SOMEWHERE TO SWEAT AND DIE WITHOUT KICKING YOUR SHIPMATES TEETH OUT… OR DO IT. THEY DON’T CARE.

 

13JUN17 DAY08

CHIEF GROTE PRETENDED TO EAT AND DRINK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN TODAY. IT WAS A LITTLE BIT AWKWARD TO WATCH, BUT HE TRIED HIS DARNDEST SO I WON’T BE TOO HARSH. THE ENTIRE COMPANY FORGOT TO BRING CANTEENS ALONG TO CLASS THIS MORNING. IT WAS HOT AND WE HAD A CIRCUIT WORKOUT COMBINED WITH A MARCH IN THE SUN, SO WE WERE PARCHED. CHIEF GROTE PROUDLY DISPLAYED HIS OWN BOTTLE OF WATER TO THE CLASS AND PROCEDED TO DRINK THE WHOLE THING IN FRONT OF US. “AHHH MAN THIS IS SO DAMN REFRESHING. AHHH!” LIKE HE WAS ON A FREAKIN’ DASANI COMMERCIAL. I’M THINKING HE GOT ON THE INTERNET LAST NIGHT AND SEARCHED, “HOW DO MORTALS DRINK WATER OFFICIAL GUIDE.” THEN HE WATCHED YOUTUBE TUTORIALS FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR FOR THAT STUNT. “AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!” MYSTICAL BEINGS HAVE A STRANGE SENSE OF HUMOR…

AFTER CLASS WE WENT TO SUPER LUBY’S (THE GALLEY)! SHOUT OUT TO THE STAFF FOR SOME KICKIN’ PINEAPPLE SOUFFLE AND A GLAZED HAM THAT WON’T QUIT! FROM LUNCH WE MARCHED TO OUR NEXT CLASS. THE TOPICS WERE BASED AROUND CIVIL RIGHTS. AS I LEFT MEPS FROM SAN ANTONIO, A COUPLE OF MY CURRENT SHIPMATES AND I WERE ON A BUS WITH 25 MARINES SHIPPERS. THEY MADE DEROGATORY JOKES ABOUT ME AND WOMEN IN GENERAL. I STOOD UP FOR MYSELF AND MY SHIPMATES HAD MY BACK BEFORE WE EVEN BECAME SHIPMATES. THIS CLASS, AND THE GENERAL AWARENESS FROM LEADERSHIP AND MY COMPANY MADE ME PROUD.

PETTY OFFICER KARNYA TOOK OVER THE COMPANY AFTER CLASS. HE CAME WITH HIS UNYIELDING APPETITE FOR SWEAT AND TEARS. “EYES IN THE BOAT” WAS HIS APPETIZER, INCENTIVE TRAINING WAS A SIDE, LAUNDRY WAS THE MAIN COURSE, AND FOR DESSERT HE SERVED HIMSELF ANOTHER I.T. SESSION. WHAT’S EYES IN THE BOAT? WELL, FACEBOOK MOMS, IT’S WHEN PETTY OFFICER KARNYA DRAWS A BOAT ON THE MIRROR, THEN HAS ALL 110 OF US HUDDLE AS TIGHTLY AS POSSIBLE SCREAMING, “EYES IN THE BOAT! EYES IN THE BOAT!” UNTIL SOMEONE CATCHES ON FIRE OR DIES. SHIPMATES, WE BEST KEEP OUR EYES IN THE BOAT.

BEFORE I FORGET! FACEBOOK MOMS OF MALE RECRUITS, I HAVE AN INSIDE JOKE I WANT TO SHARE WITH YOU! WE HAVE TO FOLD OUR SOCKS IN A WAY THAT MAKES THEM “SMILE” AT US FROM OUR RACKS… ASK YOUR SONS ABOUT THEIR HAPPY SOCKS WHEN YOU WRITE THEM! IT’LL BE JUST LIKE WHEN THEY WERE 13!

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

14JUN17 DAY09

THIS WEDNESDAY WAS AN EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER. THE WAY I APPROACH BOOTCAMP IS TO ENDURE EVERY INCRIMENT UNTIL MEALTIMES, THEN THINK ABOUT HOW WHAT THE COMPANY IS GOING THROUGH IS GROWING US AND MAKING US STRONGER. I ALSO TRY TO FOCUS ON SIMPLE JOYS LIKE A COOL BREEZE ROLLING THROUGH DURING AN INTENSE I.T. I LET LITTLE THINGS LIFT MY SPIRITS UNTIL THE NEXT SIMPLE JOY PRESENTS ITSELF. SO EVEN THOUGH TODAY WAS ONE OF THE MOST DIFFICULT DAYS EMOTIONALLY THUS FAR, I’D BE REMISSED NOT TO MENTION THE BEAUTIFUL MARCH WE TOOK TO GET OUR PIECES. (NOT GUNS- PIECES, FACEBOOK MOMS.) HAUSSLER, THE COMPANY’S GUIDE ON, DEFINETELY FARTED ON ME… BUT IT WAS STILL A GORGEOUS WALK. FOR ALL THE THINGS WE CAN’T GET RIGHT AS A COMPANY, THERE WAS A BRIEF MOMENT DURING THE MARCH THAT FELT RIGHT. THE SOUND OF THE WAVES ROLLING, OUR “FRESH TO DEATH” NEW BOONDOCKERS MARCHING TO PETTY OFFICER KARNYA’S LEFT-RIGHT SONG, AND THE GENTLE BREEZE RUSTLING THE PARTITION OF GREENERY SEPERATING US FROM THE OCEAN. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. (SO WAS THE BREAKFAST SAUSAGE FROM THE SUPER LUBY’S THOUGH… I HAVE SIMPLE TASTE.)

ANYWAYS, I’VE GOT 10 MORE MINUTES TO WRITE AND THOUGHT THE SHIPMATES AND I COULD USE SOME SORT OF IDENTIFIERS SINCE WE AREN’T ABLE TO CALL OURSELVES THE COAST GUARD UNTIL WE’VE EARNED IT. IN THE MEANTIME, HERE’S WHAT WE’VE GOT…

WHEN WE’RE IN OUR SQUADBAY AND IT’S DARK AND SPOOKY? GHOST GUARD!

WHEN WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF OUR RACKS AND POP UP SUPER FAST LIKE ___? TOAST GUARD!

THAT ONE RECRUIT THAT WON’T SHUTUP ABOUT THEIR ASVAB OR HOW EASY WORKOUTS ARE FOR HIM? BOAST GUARD!

THE MAIL ORDERLIES? POST GUARD!

WHEN WE CAN’T CATCH A BREAK AND OUR COMPANY COMMANDERS ARE SMOKIN’ US DAWN TO DUSK? ROAST GUARD!

ALRIGHT, SORRY ABOUT THE LAME JOKES. I’M JUST FEELING A LITTLE DOWN… BUT DEEP DOWN I KNOW MY COMPANY COMMANDERS ARE MAKING US THE SEAMEN WE WERE BORN TO BE FROM THE KIND WE WERE BEFORE WE WERE BORN… AND THAT TAKES A LOT OF WORK.

LOGGING OFF FROM THE ALMOST GUARD (LAST ONE, I SWEAR!)

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

15JUN17 DAY10

SICKNESS HAS MADE ITS WAY TO THE SQUADBAY!!!! SOS! FEVERS! DYSENTARY! CHOLERA! OK, I’M BEING DRAMATIC. BUT THERE ARE LOW FEVERS AND SORE THROATS EVERYWHERE. THE CAPE MAY CRUD. I TOOK MY FIRST WALK ON THE REGIMENT TODAY… SOLO. I WANTED TO TRY TO GET AN ASPIRIN FROM MEDICAL TO TAKE THE EDGE OFF OF MY FEVER. EVERY STEP I TOOK I WAS CHECKING BOXES FOR LITTLE THINGS I COULD DO BETTER. A WEEK 02 RECRUIT IS A SITTING DUCK FOR HUNGRY COMPANY COMMANDERS. “AM I ALLOWED ON THIS WALKWAY?”, “ARE MY FISTS TIGHT ENOUGH?”, “DO I LOOK LIKE A ROBOT OR DO I LOOK SHARP?”, “IS THIS A STUPID FACE TO MAKE?!” I EVEN PRACTICED A SCENARIO IN MY HEAD WHERE THE COMMADANT WALKED BY AND I HAD TO GIVE THE MOST OUTSTANDING SALUTE EVER. BUT ALAS, I DIDN’T SEE ANYONE. (I DID GET THE SENSE I WAS BEING WATCHED THOUGH… FOR NEXT TIME.)

WE HAVE BEEN GETTING SMOKED. LEAVING RACKS UNLOCKED, TALKING RIGHT IN FRONT OF FORMER COMPANY COMMANDERS… ALL SORTS OF SLIP UPS. WE’VE GOT TO GET IT TOGETHER BECAUSE THE COMPANY IS POLARIZED WHICH ONLY EXAGGERATES THE PROBLEMS WE’RE HAVING. ANYWAY, AT THE POOL TODAY, ROMITO FOUND A GIANT BOOGER IN STERNBURG’S HAIRD. WHO KNOWS WHOSE IT WAS… IT WAS JUST WEIRD.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

16JUN17 FRIDAY

FINALLY FELT LIKE I GOT MY HEAD ON STRAIGHT AGAIN. A LOT OF MY SHIPMATES AND I HAVE CAUGHT THE CAPE MAY CRUD AND THE BLUES. I’VE LOST COUNT OF HOW MANY BREAKDOWNS I’VE WITNESSED AND HAVE NEVER BEEN TESTED SO DEEPLY MYSELF. WE MISS OUR FAMILIES, WE MISS OUR DOGS, WE MISS LAUGHING, AND SLEEPING IN. WE ARE SO FORTUNATE TO HAVE THOSE THINGS TO MISS, AND WE ARE EVEN MORE FORTUNATE TO BE TRAINING (OR PAINING) HERE AT BOOT CAMP. IT’S EASY TO GET CAUGHT UP IN THE ACHES AND SORROWS, BUT WHEN THINGS ARE PUT INTO THE RIGHT PERSPECTIVE, FEELING SORRY IS EMBARRASSING. THE WEATHER IS BEAUTIFUL IN CAPE MAY. WE RECEIVE 03 SQUARE MEALS AND TWO BOMB CHEWY BARS EVERY DAY. WE ARE GETTING PAID TO WORK ON OUR PHYSICAL AND MENTAL FITNESS. HOW CRAZY IS IT THAT BILLIONS OF PEOPLE LIVE ON $2.00 A DAY AND DON’T HAVE ACCESS TO CLEAN WATER, BUT I GET THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO THIS?! THE POINT IS… ‘MERICA.

HERE’S A THOUGHT FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF MY BRAIN… A FEW PEOPLE KEPT MIXING UP PETTY OFFICER KARNYA’S NAME WITH PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR’S. IT SOUNDED SOMETHING LIKE “AYE AYE PETTY OFFICER TAYNYA!” IMAGINE… A COMPANY COMMANDER MASHUP MINION OF THOSE TWO. IT’S FREAKIN’ TERRIFYING. THEY WOULD RAISE IT FROM INFANCY TO ONLY KNOW THE “GAMES” OUR COMPANY HAS BEEN RECENTLY INTRODUCED TO. BABY TAYNYA WOULD RUN UP TO THE COMPANY AND DECLARE WE’D PLAY “EYES IN THE BOAT” IN A HANDSTAND OR SOMETHING. IT’D BE OUT OF CONTROL. LIL’ TAYNYA.

OOF, I’VE GOT TO GET SOME SLEEP.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

17JUN17 DAY12

DEAR DIARY,

IF I’VE LEARNED ANYTHING ABOUT MY COMPANY COMMANDERS, IT’S THAT THEY HATE PRETTY MUCH ANY WORD THAT STARTS WITH “SAND”. (STILL INVESTIGATING IF SANDCASTLES ARE AN EXCEPTION TO THAT RULE.) THEY DEFINITELY HATE SANDBAGGERS AND SANDWICHES. FACEBOOK MOMS, A SANDBAGGER IS SOMEONE WHO SLACKS OFF OR FEIGNS INJURY TO AVOID GIVING 100%. A COMPANY COMMANDER SANDWICH IS WHEN A RECRUIT ADDRESSES THEIR CC AND REPEATS THE NAME AT THE END OF THEIR STATEMENT. HOLLYWOOD LIED TO US! IF WE SAY, “SIR, YES, SIR!” OUR COMPANY COMMANDERS WILL EAT OUR SWEAT UNTIL THEY’RE HUNGRY FOR MORE. TODAY WE HAD A SANDWICH SANDBAGGER, NOT GOOD TO GO… BUT ASIDE FROM THAT, IT WAS A PRODUCTIVE DAY.

WE MET OUR DEAREST COMPANY MENTORS, MASTER CHIEF INGHAM AND SENIOR CHIEF PADELLA! IT WAS SO MOTIVATING TO TALK TO THEM. THEY LET US SMILE AND RELAX A BIT DURING OUR MEETING (AND THEY SNUCK SOME JOLLY RANCHERS IN FOR US!) A FEW OF MY SHIPMATES GET STUPID EMOTIONAL AND START HAPPY CRYING AND STUFF WHEN THEY’RE ALLOWED TO SMILE… JK, THAT’S JUST ME. THERE WAS ONCE A TIME IN MY LIFE WHEN PEOPLE WOULD SAY SOMETHING LIKE, “WELL AREN’T YOU JUST A LITTLE BALL OF SUNSHINE?” I WOULD SWAY BACK AND FORTH, GIGGLE, TWIRL MY HAIR, AND BLUSH AS I SAID, “THANK YOU!” NOW MY AIM HAS SHIFTED… I’M DYING FOR SOMEONE TO BE LIKE “AREN’T YOU A TIGHT BALL OF MILITARY BEARING!” THEN I WOULD JUST STAND AT ATTENTION AND SCREAM AT THEM, “YES MA’AM!” WITH MY VEINS POPPING OUT OF MY HEAD AND LITTLE SPITTLES FLYING OUT OF MY MOUTH, THEN BE RIGHT BACK TO PERFECT ATTENTION. IT’S GOING TO BY AWESOME.

THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

18JUN17 DAY13

“WHEN YOU’RE NOT IN TEXAS, YOU’RE JUST CAMPING OUT.” I’M ALWAYS MISSING HOME AT BOOTCAMP… BUT THERE’S NO WAY IN HELL I MISS HOME AS MUCH AS SWANEY OR EVANS DID TODAY. AT BREAKFAST, EVANS STRUGGLED TO SAY “I REQUEST YOU SAY AGAIN YOUR LAST” TO PETTY OFFICER KARNYA FOR NO JOKE 8 MINUTES. IT WAS PAINFUL. PETTY OFFICER KARNYA MIRRORED THE WORDS SO HE COULD REPEAT THEM BACK AND EVERY TIME EVANS WOULD REPEAT SOMETHING DIFFERENT. DON’T GET ME WRONG, WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE, BUT THAT WAS NEXT LEVEL. NOW SWANEY AT LUNCH… POOR GUY. HE DID A FACING MOVEMENT WITH HIS TRAY AND SPILLED WATER ALL OVER HIS FIRST PLATE OF FOOD; THEN UPON GETTING A SECOND PLATE HE WAS MOVING SO QUICKLY THAT HE SPILLED ANOTHER CUP OF WATER… ALL IN FRONT OF TWO COMPANY COMMANDERS. GOOD TIMES AT THE SUPER LUBY’S.

I FORGOT TO MENTION A STORY FROM YESTERDAY! JOHNSON LED OUR MARCH FOR THE FIRST TIME WITH A REALLY MELODIC CADENCE. I WAS HAPPY LISTENING TO IT AND THE COMPANY SEEMED TO REALLY FEEL IT ALSO. *RECORD SCREEEECH* STOP THE TRACK! “JOHNSON, CUT THAT SULKING CRAP OUT!” CHIEF GROTE WAS NOT HAVING THAT! NOT TAH-DAY.

SPEAKING OF CHIEF GROTE, WHEN HE’S GONE FOR A DAY, THE FEMALE SQUADBAY ALWAYS COMES UP WITH REASONS HE’S GONE. (WE ACTUALLY DO THAT TO ALL OF THE CC’S.) MY FAVORITE THEORY THAT WAS RAISED WAS THAT CHIEF GROTE WAS FONE BECAUSE HE WAS HAVING HIS FIRST MORTAL CHILD. THE FEMALES THROUGH TIDBITS OF THINGS THEY’D HEARD UNTIL IT SOLIDIFIED INTO CONCRETE EVIDENCE THAT CHIEF GROTE WAS GONE FRIDAY BECAUSE HE WAS WELCOMING HIS FIRST LITTLE EARTHLING. CONGRATULATIONS, CHIEF GROTE! <3, QUEBEC-194 FEMALES!

PETTY OFFICER KARNYA WAS INSPIRED TODAY AND TOLD ME “DAMMIT SKIDMORE, YOU’RE NOT A SALMON. YOU CAN’T SWIM UPSTREAM!” HE WAS REFERRING TO ME GOING THE WRONG WAY ALONG THE BULKHEAD (CLASSIC MIX-UP). WHEN I HEARD THAT I WAS LIKE “DAMN, KARNYA, THAT’S POETIC AF AND POSSIBLY THE ANSWER TO CONQUERING BOOTCAMP!”

THE COMPANY WENT FOR A JOG ON THE TRACK TODAY. IT WAS AMAZING! A MILE AND A HALF IN FORMATION, THEN A “CATCH-UP” RUN. BEING OUTSIDE AND FEELING THE BREEZE, WATCHING THE TREES DOWN TO THE GRASS BLOWING TOGETHER, SMELLING THE OCEAN AND HEARING THE WAVES. I’M SECRETLY HAPPY THAT WE’LL BE RUNNING MORE OFTEN. DON’T TELL MY SHIPMATES. AFTER THE GLORIOUS RUN, WE SCREWED UP A TIME OBJECTIVE SO CHIEF GROTE OPENED UP HIS HAIR SALON… FO’ FREE. I’LL TALK ABOUT THAT TOMORROW; I’VE GOT TO GET SOME SHUT-EYE BEFORE WATCH.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

19JUN17 DAY14

TODAY WAS THE FIRST TIME IN A LONG TIME THAT I WAS TRULY SCARED. AS I PICKED UP MY CANTEEN TO SIP ON A LITTLE H20, I NOTICED A FOREIGN OBECT ON MY ARM. I DID A DOUBLE TAKE AND NEARLY SPEWED MY WATER BECAUSE THE SHEER SIZE OF THE LUMP WAS SO ALARMING. IS THAT A FREAKIN’ BICEP?! HELL YEAH! LOOK… I KNOW IT, MY COMPANY KNOWS IT, AND MY COMPANY COMMANDERS KNOW IT FOR SURE- WHEN I GOT TO BOOTCAMP, I HAD NOODLE ARMS AND A SOFT BELLY. NOT GOOD TO GO. I.T. SESSIONS AND GYM CLASSES AND PIECE HOLDING HAVE BEEN HELL FOR ME… BUT TODAY I WAS PUMPED (MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY).* BAH DUM CHHH!* STILL NOT WHERE I WANT TO BE, BUT SEEING AND FEELING PROGRESS IS EXCITING, EVEN IF IT’S JUST BEING ABLE TO HOLD A CANTEEN OVER MY HEAD FOR 20 MINUTES. SANDBAGGERS CAN SUCK IT THOUGH… I DON’T LIKE DOING THAT MUCH EXTRA.

HERE’S A PUN: I WONDER IF MY SECTION COMMANDER, CHIEF BROST, WOULD CALL HIS RECRUITS THE BROST GUARD?! *BAH DUM CHHH!* YAHTZEE!

LET ME TOUCH ON THE SALON FROM YESTERDAY BEFORE I GO… SALON GROTE. AFTER LAST NIGHT, I DECIDED HIS NAME IS ROOTED FROM “GROTESQUE” FOR SURE. HE HAD AN ASSOCIATE FROM A SISTER SALON, PETTY OFFICER HARDEE, COME OVER TO ENSURE OUR “GELMETS” WOULD BE FRESH TO DEATH. EVERY FEMALE WAS MADE TO APPLY HALF A BOTTLE OF BLUE GOOP AND STYLE AS USUAL. GOOD MEMORIES WITH MY GAL PALS! #SPADAY (JUST KIDDING, FELT #DEAD #INSIDE)

OK! I NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP SO I CAN GET MY SWOLL ON BEFORE MY PF TEST.

XOXO, GOSSIP GIRL

JK!!! <3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

20JUN17 DAY15

THIS MORNING I WENT TO GET MY ID CARD MADE WITH A FEW OF MY SHIPMATES. I DON’T THINK I’M ALONE IN FEELING 2LEGIT2QUIT WITH A FRESH TO DEATH MILITARY ID. BUT WAIT! MY PICTURE LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE MY BROTHER PLUS GOLLUM. SHIPMATES, I SAW Y’ALL’S TOO, AND WE ALL LOOK LIKE GOLLUM FATHERED US IN THOSE PICS. STILL FRESH. I CAN’T WAIT TO GO TO NORMAL LUBY’S WHEN I’M MISSING THE GALLEY SOMEDAY AND GET A MILITARY DISCOUNT.

FOUND MYSELF IN THE RED AT EVENING CHOW… I SWORE I HAD MY STUFF ON LOCK, BUT FROZE WHEN I WAS ASKED WHAT THE TRAINING DUTY OFFICER’S COLLAR DEVICE IS. OBVIOUSLY NOT LOCKED, IT WAS AS UNLOCKED AS A SHIPMATE’S RACK IN SECONDARY SQUADBAY! (I’M NOT GOING TO NAME NAMES…)

GOING THROUGH THE LINES AT THE GALLEY BEFORE CHOW FEELS LIKE PURGATORY, BUT ONCE YOU GET PASSED THE “STOP SIGN” (RECRUIT WHO LETS PEOPLE PASS INTO THE TRAY LINE) IT’S LIKE PASSING THROUGH HEAVEN’S GATE! ANGELS GIVING HIGH-FIVES AS WE PICK UP OUR UTENSILS… GOOD SUPER LUBY’S MEMS.

SIGNING OFF! THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

  1. CHIEF GROTE JUST NAMED HIMSELF CHIEF DEMENTOR… SO WATCH THE FREAK OUT.

 

21 JUN17 DAY16

WEEK 03… PIECE NOMENCLATURE AND SEAMANSHIP AND MANUAL OF ARMS AND THE CAPE MAY CRUD. IT’S ALL SO FOREIGN AND IT’S A LOT. HOPEFULLY WE CAN START GETTING OUR BUSINESS IN ORDER SO WE HAVE MORE TIME TO TRAIN, LESS TIME FOR PAIN. BUT SPEAKING OF PAIN, PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR PICKED US UP FROM SEAMANSHIP TODAY. OF ALL THE THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN ACCOMPLISHED, WHO WOULD’VE THOUGHT THAT MAKING RACKCARDS WOULD BE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE?! (FACEBOOK MOMS, RACKCARDS ARE STENCILED NOTECARDS THAT HAVE OUR NAMES, ROSTER ORDER NUMBERS, AND COMPANY ON THEM! WE STICK THEM TO OUR RACKS SO OUR SHIPMATES CAN FIND US!) 120 TOM CRUISES SPRINTING AROUND THE SQUAD BAY WITH STENCILS SCREAMING AT ONE ANOTHER ALL KINDS OF OBSCENITIES. IT WOULDN’T MAKE A VERY GOOD MOVIE, BUT THE PASSION WAS DEFINITELY THERE. BECAUSE WE KEPT MISSING OUR TIME OBJECTIVES TO GET THESE DANG RACK CARDS IN ORDER, WE HELD CANTEENS OVER INSTEAD OF TRAINING.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

 

22JUN17 DAY17

HAUSSLER, QUEBEC-194’S VALIANT GUIDE ON, STANDS PROUDLY IN FRONT OF OUR FORMATION BEFORE WE STEP OFF FOR MORNING CHOW. MOST COMPANIES HAVE A FLAG THAT LEADS THE FORMATION; BUT FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS, QUEBEC HAS BEEN FOLLOWING A BAG OF TRASH TIED TO THE FLAG POLE OR JUST A BARE FLAGSTAFF. NEVERTHELESS, SHE STANDS TALL AND STRONG WITH A STICK IN HER HAND. CHIEF GROTE SURVEYS THE FORMATION AND NOTICES HER PROUD STATURE, BUT ALSO SENSES THE DEEP LONGING FOR HER LOST LOVE WHO WAS TAKEN FROM HER SWIFTLY BY A COMPANY COMMANDER. CHIEF GROTE INSTRUCTS HER TO SCREAM, “I’LL NEVER LET GO, JACK!” UNTIL AT LAST HER BELOVED WAS RETURNED TO HER. THAT’S WHAT I CALL #BOOTCAMP #ROMANCE.

SO WE GOT OUR FLAG BACK. WE’RE QUEBEC-194, WE’RE LOUD, WE’RE PROUD, AND WE DON’T TAKE CRAP FROM ANYONE! (EXCEPT COMPANY COMMANDERS AND PRETTY MUCH ANYONE ELSE WHO FEELS LIKE TREATING US POORLY.) WE MARCH ALONG THE BAY TO OUR SEAMANSHIP CLASS. WHAT’S SEAMANSHIP CLASS?! LET ME JUST SAY IT’S SYNONYMOUS WITH “AWESOME SAUCE”. WE LEARN HOW TO TIE KNOTS, DIFFERENT ROLES AROUND THE SHIP, AND LINGO SO WE’RE JIVE WHEN WE’RE IN THE FLEET. SEAMANSHIP CLASSES HAVE BEEN A LIFESAVER FOR THE COMPANY’S MORALE. “THERE’S MORE TO THIS WHOLE COAST GUARD THING THAN A FORCE OF 40,000 PEOPLE WHO CAN HOLD CANTEENS OVER THEIR HEADS FOR HOURS.” GOOD TIDINGS.

A LITTLE MORALE BOOST CAN GO A LONG WAY. THERE’S CHATTER STARTING UP IN THE COMPANY ABOUT WHAT WE WANT TO DO WITH OUR COAST GUARD JOURNEY. SPEAKING OF WHICH… YOU KNOW WHEN YOU HAVE A BIG TRIP PLANNED? IT’S SUPER EXCITING AND YOU’RE SO CLOSE TO LEAVING BUT FIRST YOU HAVE TO GET THROUGH RIDICULOUS TSA LINES THAT FEEL LIKE AN ETERNITY?! BOOTCAMP TSA IS REGULAR TSAX20. 117 RECRUITS WITH 117 RUCK SACKS, 03 LINES LEADING TO 03 COMPANY COMMANDERS. EVERY RECRUIT HAS THEIR BAG THOROUGHLY SEARCHED BY A COMPANY COMMANDER. THE SLIGHTEST INFRACTIONS HAVE GREAT CONSEQUENCES. ANY RECRUIT THAT HAD LETTERS FROM FACEBOOK MOMS IN THEIR BAG WAS SEVERELY PUNISHED IN SWEAT… MOST OF US WERE “NOT GOOD TO GO”. AFTER A COUPLE OF HOURS IN THE SUN OF BOOTCAMP TSA, WE ALL HAD TO SWEAT UNTIL TAPS.

I HAVE TO GET READY FOR A SHIFT ON WATCH NOW! (OR WHAT I LIKE TO CALL THE “GHOST GUARD”)

GOODNIGHT, FACEBOOK MOMS!

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT EVER,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

 

 

23JUN17 DAY18

THE WIZARD OF OZ: BOOTCAMP EDITION

*QUEU THE MUSIC*

SCENE 1: SEAMAN RECRUIT SKIDMORE SHUFFLES AROUND TRYING TO DO THE RIGHT THINGS BEFORE AN IMMINENT TORNADO. S.R. DOROTHY SKIDMORE FINDS HERSELF LOST IN THE SAUCE RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE FREAKIN’ TORNADO. IN THE MIDST OF THE CHAOS, THE ANTI-GLINDA THE GOOD (CHIEF SAMUELS), BESTOWS UPON HER A SHINY RED BELT.

ALRIGHT, I’D JUST LIKE TO TOUCH ON A FEW ELEMENTS FROM SCENE 01 BEFORE MOVING ON. THE TORNADO IS SYMBOLIC, JUST LIKE IN THE ORIGINAL WIZARD OF OZ; IT REPRESENTS THE CHAOS OF BOOTCAMP. SOME OF THE SCENES THAT MAY FILTER THROUGH WITH EACH ROTATION OF THE TORNADO MAY INCLUDE: ROMITO GETTING HER BUTT CHEWED BY PETTY OFFICER TAYLOR AND FRIENDS IN THE GALLEY, A CLASSIC “FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” WAKEUP CALL, AND ONE OF THE COMPANY’S VARIATIONS OF’ BAKER’ DOING SOMETHING CRAZY. SO…. TORNADO= FIGURATIVE, RED BELT= LITERAL. THE ONLY DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DOROTHY’S RED SHOES AND MY RED BELT IS THAT THE SHOES TAKE HER HOME, THE BELT TAKES ME TO ROMEO COMPANY. ALSO THE DELIVERY SYSTEM FOR RECEIVING SAID ITEMS IS A LOT DIFFERENT… CHIEF SAMUELS DID NOT FLOAT TO ME IN A PINK BUBBLE THAT’S FOR SURE. I WOULDN’T DOUBT THAT HE HAS THE ABILITY THOUGH… CC’S ARE MYSTICAL AND I SENSED VERY HIGH POWER LEVELS. BUT JOKES ASIDE, THE RED BELT BROKE ME. I READ THE SAME SENTIMENT IN A FEW OF MY SHIPMATES’ FACES WHO ALSO GOT THE BELT. A FEW PEOPLE KNEW THE BELT WAS COMING FOR THEM, BUT I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING. I CRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME AT BOOTCAMP (LOL, THAT’S A LIE.) I WAS GRATEFUL FOR THE SERIES OF I.T. SESSIONS CHIEF GROTE ADMINISTERED RIGHT AFTER MY SHIPMATES AND I WERE ACCESSORIZED. I PRETENDED LIKE I WASN’T CRYING, BUT SWEATING FROM MY EYES… BODILY FUNCTIONS YAHTZEE, AM I RIGHT?!

SO IT’S LIKES THIS… EVERYONE WHO DOESN’T WEAR THE BELT OF SHAME HAS A LITTLE EXTRA PEP IN THEIR STEP, AND THOSE OF US IN RED ARE PARIAHS. BUT WE AIN’T DONE YET. THE OPTIMIST IN ME IS TELLING ME THAT THIS TEST CAN MAKE ME STRONGER AND KEEP ME FROM MAKING MISTAKES IN MORE PRESSING TIMES DOWN THE LINE. THE PESSIMIST OCCASIONALLY INTERJECTS TO SAY, “NOPE! YOU’RE DEAD INSIDE NOW!” I’M JUST TRYING TO FIT MYSELF WITH MY BEST ATTITUDE AND SHARPEST OPPERATIONAL DRESS UNIFORM TO NAVIGATE THE UNEASY WATERS OF RED BELT. I HOPE MY SHIPMATES ARE DOING THE SAME AND REMEMBER “THE TIME IS ALWAYS RIGHT TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT.” BECAUSE THIS IS THE WORST ACCESSORY EVER! WORSE THAN VISORS. WORSE THAN SCRUNCHIES. WORSE THAN LEG-WARMERS. WORSE THAN NECKLACES THAT SAY “ANGEL” OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

ALRIGHT, I’M GOING TO HIT THE RACK AND PRETEND LIKE EVERYONE COUGHING VIOLENTLY IS JUST MY DOG BARKING AT DEER.

<3 THE WORST SEAMAN RECRUIT EVER,

SKIDMORE, M.A.

25JUN17 DAY20

“Christmas in June”

Being on Probation is like being on the Island of Misfit Toys. Chief Grote’s misfit toys. We’re separate from the rest of the company. A few of us limp, a few of us have trouble speaking properly, and a few of us are straight loony. Petty Officer Karnya and Petty Officer Taylor are the abominable snowmen who we cower in fear of. Despite our rough appearance, I can’t help but feel like the red belt will help us. Because you know who was on the Island of Misfit Toys? Rudolph! Here’s a little musical number: Skidmore the red belt recruit, had a very shiny belt! And if you ever saw it, you wouldn’t ask her how it felt. All of the other recruits, used to laugh and call her names *like Lost in the Sauce!* They never let poor Skidmore play any recruit games *like seabags!* The rest is still unwritten… But if I can get it together and gain some confidence to get past this, an allusion to Company Commander Santa Clause would for sure be good to go.

Living in a squad bay with week 08 recruits gives the females small glimpses of wonderful things to come: sharp dress uniforms, off-base liberty, and just being cooler in general… We’re forbidden from talking to them, but we gather enough from watching them on the sly. Today I saw one of them shaving her toes… I was like “STOP THA TRAIN WHAT?!” My Company Commanders will be like “When I say fly away, you have 05 minutes to shower, brush your fangs, stow your stuff, and be on line MAIN MUSTER. EVERYTHING PERFECT. FLY AWAY!” But at week 08 we get time to shave our toes?!!! Let me just say, the future seems bright. Very bright indeed.

I think the company is starting to get over the Cape May Crud! We could still make a full orchestra from all of the bodily functions we’ve got going on though… The coughing, the flatulence, the vomit retching, it’s all vile. Some of the coughs seriously sound like baritones. On the plus side, the company has been sounding off extra loudly to cover up the sound of their farts.

Quebec-194 started firefighting classes today! We learned about different classes of fires from Alpha to Delta and fire extinguishers for each. The real question is, what’s the proper extinguisher for an Echo class fire?! AKA the “FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” in my glutes from our morning wakeup calls?! YAHTZEE! Learning practical knowledge has been awesome. ‘Nuff said.

Time for me to climb into my inspection-ready-fresh-to-death rack now! Goodnight!

<3 The worst Seaman Recruit,

Skidmore, M. A.

 

26JUN17 DAY21

The prophecy has been fulfilled! I’m Rudolph, y’all! “Then one foggy Tuesday Eve, Chief Grote came to say, ‘Skidmore with your belt so bright, will you get your nomenclature right?!” Yup, Jolly Chief Grote Clause is giving me another shot. Despite feeling like a huge weight has been lifted, being on red belt pushed me to get my required knowledge on lock and keep my uniform fresh to death always. To be on the safe side, I’m going to pretend I’m on probation for the rest of boot camp. But OMG, I lost my military bearing at the worst time ever today. Quebec-194 had a class on enlisted ratings. Exciting stuff! The mood was light because we were excited about the material AND we saw our favorite IS1 on film and a poster! Who would’ve thought Petty Officer Taylor was so Hollywood?! We got a head and water break right after our instructor revealed Petty Officer Taylor’s A-list Coast Guard Celebrity status. (Maybe the second most favorite Coast Guardsman after Ashton Kutcher!) I was grinning like an idiot, meandering to the head when in the corner of my eye I see the silhouette of what may as well have been the devil himself. That’s right… My Lead Company Commander, Chief Grote. He was extra scary because his sunglasses and hat were on… INSIDE. I tried to straighten up and pretend I wasn’t smiling, but wincing in pain… Or about to sneeze? ANYTHING but smiling! It was too late. You best believe the company burned in Dante’s seventh circle of Hell’s “FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!” for that. Sanders and Samuels were talking behind me about S.S.I.S1 (Super Star Intelligence Specialist First Class). We BURNED.

*Imagine a seamless segue into this next story.*

Today when I was waiting in formation to march back to the house, a pair of seagulls started doing mating calls and stuff. Honestly, I wasn’t trying to watch them because that’d be weird… But my eyes were in the boat, so I saw what I saw. They were doing a mating call in sync to Petty Officer Abascal’s cadence! (He was marching a company behind where Quebec was forming up.)This is just another primo example of Company Commander powers.

Goodnight, Facebook Moms!

<3 The worst Seaman Recruit,

Skidmore, M. A.

P.S. Chief Grote just told me to stop writing in all CAPS for the blog! Spell-check doesn’t catch in CAPSLOCK, so I apologize for all of the spelling and grammar errors! BLAST THIS DANG DEDICATION TO MILITARY BEARING. Hopefully the posts will be more readable from now on. Love y’all!

 

 

 

 

27JUN17 DAY22

Quebec-194 is taking steps in the right direction to becoming Coasties! Why?! Because we put out a real-life fire!* (*It was a real-life virtual fire.) But it was still cool, OK? At least it felt cool… We suited up in all of the gear, including an oxygen mask, and stepped into the simulator. It was hot, it was wet, it was difficult, and it wasn’t even a fraction of the real thing. I have so much respect for fireman, especially after that simulation, they’re more than just a pretty face… I could barely even move in the coveralls so I bumbled around like a freakin’ Teletubby.

To stay organized, every squad bay has a squad bay leader who delegates task amongst their teams. We have 03 male squad bays and 01 female squad bay. (Quebec-194 is a HUGE company!) There are also designated Petty Officer jobs given to recruits from the Company Commanders to streamline tasks and create our very own Chain of Command! Now I don’t know how the male squad bays do things… But in the female squad bay we take things a step further. We have a Petty Officer for EVERYTHING. At first the roles were natural to keep things in order, but our Petty Officer positions outnumber female recruits! What started off as a Female Supply Petty Officer to make a list of items necessary to give to the Company Supply Petty Officer is now a different beast. Who wants to be the Trash Petty Officer? Who wants to be the Sink Wiping Specialist Petty Officer? Who is the Drain Clearing Technician Petty Officer? Who is the Toilets at Attention Specialist? You name it; you know we’ve got at least a minor league Third Class Petty Officer for it.

Sorry for the short post, Facebook Moms! I will have more stories for you tomorrow. Tonight I have to rest up for the PF test tomorrow! #swole #noodlearms

<3 The Worst Seaman Recruit,

Skidmore, M.A.

  1. Facebook Moms! I have loved the mail some of you have been sending me. It’s meant so much and been so encouraging. If there is ANYTHING you would like me to write about, please shoot me a letter! I can stalk your children or husbands or whatever and sneak an embarrassing story about them on here! We don’t get much time for mail, but I’ll devote some time during Divine hours on Sundays to jot down a snoop list. Family, I can’t wait to see you soon! And new Quebec- 194 family, I can’t wait to meet y’all at graduation!

 

28JUN17 DAY23

Today was a big day, Facebook Moms! Half of the company has been anxiously awaiting today’s PF test since week01. (I was in that half… #unprepared #notgood2go) The other half of the company are a bunch’a studs, so the PF ain’t no thang to them. Shipmate Sanders and I both failed our sit-ups on the initial test and I had weak sauce push-ups to boot. We weren’t the only ones who squeaked by on the first test; a lot of the boys were stressed about the run… But guess what? We made that PF test our BIH–STFRIEND! I was so relieved and motivated after passing my test, so I’ve decided to definitely go AST!…. GOTCHA! Not doing that. But on a serious note, I got a glimpse of my arm today when I was holding Gunnifer and mistook it for Shipmate Hollingsworth’s (and he really is going AST). #Awkward. The company was walking on sunshine after getting that PF out of the way. Most people were happy to pass, and the ones who weren’t worried in the first place were proud of their shipmates.

Here’s a story that Shipmate Samuel told me. I can’t think about it often because I lose my military bearing every time. Samuel was super bummed out about losing her watch. She got ready quickly to make a tight time objective and couldn’t recall what had happened to it. She glanced at her bare wrist several times; a painful reminder of lost time. She couldn’t shake her disappointment all day. *Long sigh* When she was in the galley, a Company Commander approached her in a fury. He yelled something at her, but she didn’t catch it… “Petty Officer Karpf, Seaman Recruit Samuel, I request you say again your last!” He started listing trackers for her to log. The final infraction he mentioned being, “WRITE A TRACKER FOR HAVING A TIMEPIECE STICKING OUT OF YOUR SLEEVE, FEMALE!” She took the tracker attacker like a champ because she was just happy to have her watch back… It had been sticking out of the roll of her sleeve all day.

Yesterday’s march got a little weird, Facebook Moms. I didn’t have time to write about it last night because I had to rest up to get swole, but here’s the thing… The company was taking a long march to Goff Hall for our firefighting class. The march was pretty standard at first. It was a beautiful day, the air was still, the greenery lush, the sky soft, and we were right by the beach! So serene… Until Quebec-194’s gorgeous gazelle of a guide-on let’s one rip. Big time. I know I’ve said it before, but Haussler farts on me like everyday when we’re marching. “SKIDMORE! Was that you?!” A shipmate yells from a few rows back. “SHHH! No talking in formation!” Shipmate Clark whispers. Haussler just smiles and keeps marching as each row of the company holds their breath through the thorough crop-dusting (Shout out to AMTC Grote for the proper terminology.) The ordeal had the potential to get us in some serious sweat because at that very moment, guess who drives alongside our formation in a golf cart? Baron Chief Grote. He was swerving all around us, took a quick lil’ offroad to the beach, was just doing all sorts of crazy stuff. You know those mini jeeps that toddlers get for Christmas? He was driving like that. He was wearing his Campaign Cover too which made the whole thing even more absurd… Normal march got weird… I don’t know what else to say but, “Classic Quebec.”

Facebook Moms, keep the mail coming! It’s the highlight of a Boot Camp day! I just want to let y’all know that as a company, morale is up! I repeat, morale is up! We attended a graduation practice for November company which got us pumped, loud, and proud!

<3 The Worst Seaman Recruit,

Skidmore, M. A.

 

Editor’s Note: This blog post was written by a recruit currently involved in Coast Guard basic training. The thoughts and opinions expressed in this Journal do not necessarily reflect those of Training Center Cape May, the U.S. Coast Guard or the federal government and are the sole opinion of the author. Recruit Journals are written by personnel in a high-stress environment with little time, so please excuse grammar and punctuation in the above article. The staff at Training Center Cape May do not edit the journals in any way, so as to ensure authenticity of the content and messages.

 

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